Dating is difficult in general, but gay dating is even harder.
Being gay adds another level of complexity to the dating process, and because we’re all men, we make this process of looking for a mate all the more difficult. Our walls are high, our hearts are guarded, and we’re still all figuring out exactly what we’re looking for because, for many of us, we didn’t see what we’re trying to create growing up.
No matter your gender or sexual orientation, dating can seem like a minefield. Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends. There are perhaps a few things we need to pay a little more attention to.
- Cast your net further afield
Gay dating can be a very picky-process. We whine that we can’t find the right man, or never get a second date, but the usual reason is we’re not looking hard enough in the first place. Whether we’re into bears, jocks or geeks, sometimes our narrow search criteria hold us back.
- Be positive
Many guys are very clear in their gay dating profiles – almost rudely so – about what they don’t want or like. Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.
- Avoid regular haunts
When you start gay dating, don’t go to places you bar-hopped during your bachelor days. You don’t really want to run into one of your old flames – or one of theirs – and it’s good to go somewhere fresh to you both, free of distractions or associations with other dates.
- Forget their past
Yes, plenty of us have been around a bit, but don’t let it play on your mind when on a date with a new guy. As far as you’re concerned, this is Day One – the only wasteland came before it.
- Get rejection right
Rejection can be a useful experience because it teaches you a bit about yourself and the guys you’re dating. Rejecting someone because of their appearance is only natural, but they don’t need to know that’s your reason.
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